Wacky Cycle Frustrations

Well, it seems like the Vitex doesn't want to work this cycle, which sucks.  I'm on CD 57 with patches of watery CM, but nothing that screams 'FERTILE".  I am ready to move on to my next natural option, Soy Isoflavones (SIs).  I have an appointment with my OB for the 28th to get my annual, some provera, and discuss the potential of Clomid in a few cycles if SIs don't work.  I definitely want to complete 6 cycles trying with natural methods before moving on to prescription medications to induce ovulation.  I am really hoping that SIs do the trick and I don't need to try Clomid or anything like that.

An overdue update

Vitex doesn't seem to be working for me this cycle as well as it did last cycle.  It's currently CD 26 with no O in sight.  I'm using OPKs and the Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor in an attempt to catch O very accurately.  Hubs and I have also been having plenty of sex so honestly, whatever day I O won't make a difference timing-wise.

Hubs and I are going to Las Vegas mid-June for a trading card tournament.  I am looking forward to it because if I am not pregnant I can get drunk every night but if I am pregnant I can have just as much fun gambling and spending time with friends!

We have now been trying for nearly 4 whole months and are in the middle of cycle #3.  Every time I look at Facebook, someone is posting baby pictures, announcing a pregnancy, or posting bump/pregnancy updates.  I just can't get away from it without blocking people or removing people.  I am just so insanely jealous that they are pregnant and I am not.

I have, however, made a decision towards taking my fertility into my own hands.  If i don't get pregnant this cycle, I will be asking for Clomid at my annual visit.  This irregular cycle thing HAS TO GO.  So, until then, I am going to keep on keeping on and doing my thing in hopes for a BFP really soon. 

Not pregnant... yet!

Well, my temp tanked below the coverline today.  AF is officially on her way!  That's ok though.  I was holding onto a glimmer of hope for this cycle, but I knew it was EXTREMELY unlikely.  We're moving on to the next cycle, hopefully AF will rear her ugly head today sometime.

I have an estimated O day of April 12.  Of course, it could be earlier or later.  In case it is earlier, I will be starting my OPKs on CD 10 (April 5).  Hubs and I will be in St. Louis the 4th through 8th and we're sharing a hotel room with 2 friends so we're going to have to get creative for sexy time.  I am thinking in the bathroom on the counter with the shower running to drown out any noise.

In addition to the things I already do, we're going to try soft cups this cycle!  They're really weird, and they're designed for your period, but I've heard a lot of success stories of people using them to keep the sperm close to their cervix so I figured, why the hell not!?


I put one in just to see how easy it is to put in and pull out, very easy!  You also can't feel it at all! It's compared to the Nuvaring in the way it goes in and you can't feel it.  You can even have sex with it in, though that would be counterproductive to TTC!

Obsessing

At what point does one obsess TOO much about something?  A baby is on my mind nearly 24/7.  I can't stop.  I am unsure as of what to do to busy myself.  I thought about knitting again, first thought of a project? Baby blanket.  Of course that's the first thing I'd think of!

I really need a hobby and to empower myself with this baby making obsession.  I think what I need to do is get my butt to the gym or the park with the dog (weather permitting).  I need to continue to better myself, lose weight, and prepare myself for the day God blesses me with a pregnancy.

Here are my goals before O next cycle:

• Get to the park or gym 3x a week
• Lose 5 pounds

I think those are entirely reasonable goals, especially since I have so much free time this semester.  There is no reason why I can't reach those goals.  I estimate I will ovulate on April 11.  If I ovulate later, I will add 5 pounds weight loss goal for every 3 weeks longer O takes.  It seems reasonable.  Hopefully the Vitex will continue to work and I will see a CD 14-21 O date.  That would make me very happy.

I hate you Facebook

So in the last 24 hours, two people have posted on Facebook that they are pregnant, one of them wasn't even planning to get pregnant, it just happened and her boyfriend is freaked out.  Awesome... That makes numbers 4 and 5 this year.

I think knowing I am out this cycle is making things worse.  I desperately want to be pregnant, but I have to wait yet another cycle.  REALLY hoping for an early 2014 baby!

On another topic, I am going to start a TTC Vlog that will eventually be a pregnancy Vlog.  I'll embed the videos here when they go up.   You'll probably start to see more videos than text as time goes on.

Cycle #2 is a bust

Things are going well here at home, or as well as they can be.  I just got back yesterday morning from a week in Portland/Seattle.  I threw a baby shower for my lovely sister in law Lindy on Sunday last weekend.  It turned out really well!  We had about 20 adults and half a dozen kids.

Lindy's Shower, so many people here to see her!

Lindy opening one of the many gifts from me.  She loves owls, so it seemed fitting.

I also went to two Sounders soccer games while in Seattle, one was a CONCACAF quarter-final against the Tigres from Mexico, who we beat 3-1 (3-2 in the aggregate).  The next game was a regular MLS game against the Portland Timbers who we tied with 1-1.  The CONCACAF game was AMAZING.  The 2nd half of the game, we played like champs.  In the MLS game, we played like poo for the majority of it, but it was still enjoyable.  I did manage to get myself two new scarves, the 2013 Season Ticker Holder scarf (my dad has 4 season tickets from work) and a grey and black infinity scarf which is REALLY cool.  My dad also bought me a Sounders jacket.

Seattle Sounders FC!

Now on to the disappointing news!  I of course O'd while I was out of town, no chance of some hearty sperm from pre-travel sexing to fertilize the egg.  It's not COMPLETELY disappointing since I O'd CD 18 (which is AMAZING), but having 0 chance and moving on to cycle 3 is disappointing.  I'll get over it I am sure.  Hopefully this CD 18 thing isn't a fluke and the Vitex is working.  We'll know next cycle!  So I am currently 6 DPO and just waiting for AF to come so hubs and I can move on to the next cycle and get our sex on.

CD 12

Well, watery CM started on CD 8.  I have been feeling slight twinges around my ovaries (both of them so it's hard to say what it is).  I also switched to temping vaginally.  I am thinking either the Vitex or the weight loss (maybe a combination of both?) is getting me to ovulate earlier!  I really hope that's the case.

FF estimates I will O CD 39 based on my last 2 cycles.  If I O that day, my EDD would be Christmas Eve!  At this point, I am hoping I don't O between 3/11 and 3/17.  If I O any of those days, we're out for the cycle since I will be out of town WITHOUT hubs.  I leave on the 10th in the morning, so if I O by the 10th, our timing will still be fine.  We're going to be having a lot of sex the next couple days, just in case.

At this point though, I think we're going to be out of Nov and into Dec for EDDs.  Oing on the 10th would be EDD Dec 1.

I did just take an OPK, too.  It was about 70% as dark as the control line so we'll see what happens over the next couple days.

CD 4

Well, it's CD 4.  AF is still here so I haven't started temping yet.  I've switched to vaginal temping for this cycle.  Hopefully my temps will be a little more consistent than last cycle.

I've got a list of things to accomplish this week.  First off, I need to get back on the WW train!  I've been so bad about tracking.  Like, absolutely terrible.  Let's start with fixing that and having a good weigh in on Friday morning.

Next, I need to make shower decorations!  Lindy's shower is in 2 weeks and I have not made any decorations! I need to make:

• decorated sticks to put in cupcakes
• confetti
• garlands

 Last, but not least, I have to decide if I want to run for re-election for student government.  It's a big decision to make.  If I get pregnant, I won't want to commit extra time on campus outside of time necessary for classes.  If I don't get pregnant, I'll wish I had ran (if I didn't).  I can always run and resign later in pregnancy.  Added to things to consider: stress.  Being a senator, and especially a committee chair, is really stressful.  Maybe that affected my chances of conceiving last cycle?  I always feel slightly stressed, but when something important is going on within SGA or my committee, my stress goes through the roof.  Maybe that's the major factor?

The coming weeks will be interesting.  Let's see if the Vitex makes me O earlier and if I can decide what steps I want to take for SGA.  Do I really want the added stress?

Until next time!

Temp drop

I had a massive temp drop.  My temp was only about 0.15 degrees over my coverline.  That doesn't bode well for me.  If it spikes tomorrow, it would be an implantation dip, otherwise AF is on her way.  The witch.

Ah well, it was our first cycle, I shouldn't expect it to happen cycle #1.  There is always next cycle and the possibility of a New Years baby!

9 DPO

I did test this AM.  It was a BFN, but I could have told myself that before I tested.  It's my first 2ww, I am just excited!

Let's round up the symptoms!

• acute sense of smell
• tender nipples/boobs
• emotional
• headache
• mild/dull ache/cramps
• backache
• fatigue
• gassy
• runny nose (I've heard this can be a sign)

Now, I also know that these are pms/progesterone symptoms, not necessarily related to pregnancy so I am trying so hard not to read too far into them.

I did, however, finalize how I will tell DH when I DO get my BFP.  First it requires a tiny backstory:
 DH proposed to me in January 2009.  He wrote on the mirror (something we did ever since we lived together, write each other cute notes with a white board marker) 'I want you to have this for as long as our love will last, FOREVER" and the word forever was encircled by a heart.  In addition, my beautiful engagement ring was hanging from the light fixture with a ribbon.

Now, here is my idea:  I want to figure out something cute to write on the mirror, and hang a pacifier from my light fixture a-la-proposal.  Cute? Dumb?  I like it, and it's very us.  I think DH would like it, too.  A little nostalgia.

Now to come up with a cute saying! I am sure I can think of one when I actually go out to buy the pacifier.  Of course, I will wait until my BFP before I go buy one.

It's been a few days...

Chart Link

Well, O has finally been confirmed.  I don't think my CH will go solid, so dotted will have to do!  It's officially O day of CD 50 (Feb 11).  I am currently 6 DPO and had a nice temp spike again today after a small fallback.  It looks like I've got a slow rise combined with a fallback pattern.  Which is totally OK, it doesn't mean I am not going to be pregnant this cycle.

I feel different at this point in my cycle.  Like I know I am going to be pregnant.  Of course, I only have a 20-25% chance of it actually happening so I am trying to not read too far into my different symptoms, especially because it is way too early for pregnancy symptoms.

I did, however, take a pregnancy test this morning.  With the REALLY slow rise I was having CD 47-50 made me curious as to whether I may have O'd earlier and had my temps messed up by mouth-breathing.  I thought I could be maybe 7 or 8 DPO instead.  I don't know if that is actually the case, but for now, I am 6 DPO.

I am going to wait until Tuesday before I test again.  If that's a BFN, I'll wait until Thursday which would be 10 DPO.  If it's STILL a BFN, I will probably wait until my missed period (based on last cycle) which would be at 13 DPO.

I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be disappointed if it didn't happen this cycle, but I need to keep my chin up and keep on trucking either way.  This is only cycle 1, there is plenty more chances before I need to be too disappointed/worried.

Waiting for CHs

Well, based on my temps, I don't think I was getting a true slow rise.  I think I just O'd yesterday or the day before.  The day before is probably more likely based on CM and CP. FF will let me know soon enough.

I must say, I think Vitex is the reason my temps evened out and I O'd.  They say it takes a few weeks for the Vitex to start working, but what if it started working immediately?

Now for my adventure into CBH: Telling people, when and how.

Obviously, I would get my BFP before my trip to Seattle.  I would probably tell the inlaws on Friday night (invite them over for dinner) so that I could tell my family while I am in town.  I will leave it to Matt to tell his brother while I am out of town.  The big question is, do I tell my parents before or after the baby shower?  I will probably opt for after the baby shower so that I can tell Dan and Lindy at the same time, too.  In addition, I won't steal Lindy's thunder at her baby shower.  Another option is to tell Mom and Dad before the shower, and tell Dan and Lindy privately later after the shower.

When it comes to the rest of the world, we'll wait until after the first U/S to tell friends in person.  Facebook can hear about it after we enter the 2nd trimester.

Of course, now that I have said all this, it'll probably be a BFN.  It is the first cycle after all.

I plan to begin testing 10 DPO so we'll see how it goes!

Do we have an O?

Well, I think I finally O'd yesterday.  I had watery cm during the day, dry at night, and lotiony this morning.  I also checked my cp today. My cervix is definitely low and firm.  I am thinking I am 1 DPO and will starting POAS on 2/20.  If I get my BFP, I'll have an EDD of Nov 2!  That is, if I get my O confirmed.  I just need that damn temp spike! The last 3 days my temp has gone up by 0.05.  It's SO annoying.  

I am sure people that have been trying for a while think I am silly for getting my hopes up over every little thing.  I'm ok with that, for now.  I came into TTC already knowing my most basic issue, PCOS.  If I go 6 months without a BFP, I am sure I will be less hopeful, but I will try my best not to let any BFNs or bumps in the road bring me down!

CD 46

and a positive OPK last night!  How exciting is that?  I really thought I was out this cycle with it being anovulatory.  Looks like it was just a late O.  I am waiting for temping to confirm O date.  I am thinking today since my OPK was negative today.  I am really excited!

That is blatantly positive to me! Did I mention I was excited?  Hopefully I will get a nice rise tomorrow and O confirmed shortly after that.

Testing plans?  I plan to test probably 10 DPO because I am a pee pusher and like to pee on things.  If I get KTFU this cycle, I don't expect a pos until 13+ DPO.

Cramps from HELL

I've been having the most miserable cramps since last night.  I honestly am hoping that it's AF on her way so that I can move onto the next cycle.  It's CD 43, I am so over this cycle.

If I don't get AF or CHs on FF by the 13th, I'm going to make an appointment with the OB for some Provera.  I just won't take the Provera until CD 60.  Knowing her, she is probably going to want me to start on Clomid right away (she's kind of an idiot).  Of course I won't take that offer.  If DH and I get to the point of needing to do testing, I'll pick a new OB.  I only use this one because she's only 2 miles from my house.  When we're TTC on our own, convenience is nice.

I've also given up on OPKs for the cycle.  I've used like 80 of them.  At first I was doing twice a day, and then I went to 3x a day later in the cycle.  No surge.  DH and I have sex often enough that I don't really NEED OPKs.  Once the wet CM starts, it sex 2 nights and then 1 night off.  I feel like that is often enough without depleting his supply.

Here's a kitty for reading my rant(ish) post.

Did I finally O? Round 2!

The magic question has come again. Did I O? My temp had a major shift up, giving me a waking temp of 97.7 this morning. That's nuts! That's almost 2 degrees higher than my average pre-O temp. Now it's the waiting game. The next temp or two will truly tell if I O'd or not!

Edit: I'm a moron and read my thermometer wrong.  I didn't have a big shift.

False Alarm!

Nope.  I didn't O.  I got a nice big glob of EWCM when I went to the bathroom earlier and a decently dark OPK.

Did I finally O?

Let's start this off with a link to my chart.  I of course am going to be neurotic and analyze (and over-analyze) every little bit of my chart and every symptom.  Let's start with #1.

My CM has dried up.

I've been having watery CM for two weeks. TWO WEEKS! JFC, I was ready for it to be over and for O to happen.  Now the CM seems to be gone.  On CD 35 it was watery during the day and then creamy at night.

Note: Looking back at my last chart (Nov. 14, 2012), I had 2 weeks of watery CM as well.  This could be my normal.

I had a substantial temp dip followed by a good rise.

Holy temp dip Batman.  A dip into the 94s!  I knew PCOS (and Metformin) could lead to lower temps, but that's crazy low!  After that crazy low dip, I had a rise of close to a full degree.  My temp also rose again today, but is still around the average for my pre-O temps so far this cycle.  Another day or two and I should know if this is legit.

The FF Fertility Analyzer has given the yellow light.

I've had the green light for the last 2 weeks, including yesterday.  Now it has moved to yellow!  That is another good sign that O has finally occurred. 


With all this said, I guess DH and I need to HIO tonight just to make and keep timing good!

A little thing called Vitex

So I learned about a new herbal supplement yesterday.  It's called Vitex.  It's also known as Chaste Berry.  It's an herb that is supposed to help regulate hormones and in women like me (with PCOS) it's supposed to help you ovulate sooner, resulting in a shorter cycle.  I've read links to forum posts where women have gone from 60+ day cycles to cycles under 30 days just by taking Vitex.

I also researched if it could be taken in conjunction with Metformin.  Nothing I have read says that it can't.  It DOES say not to take it with Clomid (because they counteract each other) or once pregnant.  It can be taken for up to 18 cycles!  I think I am going to give it a try and pick up a bottle at GNC.

Intros All Around!

Let me start this blog by telling you a little about my husband, Matt, and me.

My name is Shannon.  I am 26 years old.  I live in the suburbs of Atlanta with my husband (also 26), 2 cats, and 1 dog.  We got married May 22, 2010.

I am a full time student studying to be an elementary teacher.  I am 2 years away from my bachelors and pan to pursue my masters on a part time basis while teaching.  Matt is a purchasing manager for an ATM refurbishment and parts seller.  He's been there about 5 years.

Matt and I have decided to try to have a baby.  We both feel like emotionally, spiritually, and financially, we are ready.  We both know having a baby won't be easy, but it is definitely something we've both wanted for a very long time, even in the earlier parts of dating.  Now it's finally time!

I am currently on CD 33 of my first cycle TTC, 2nd one charting.  My last cycle was 40 days and I O'd on CD 28.  I am still waiting to O on this cycle.  The waiting game is miserable.  I am pretty sure I've peed on 50+ OPKs and not a single positive.

My chart has kind of been all over the place this cycle until the last few days.  In the last 8 days, my chart has looked pretty normal.  Before that, it looked like the Rocky Mountains!  It could be from being a mouth breather while I am sleeping so I am going to temp vaginally next cycle.

Chart link

I've been having watery CM for the last 11 days.  I am hoping I'll experience EWCM, but I can't say I've ever seen myself have EWCM except maybe once or twice ever.  I know that you don't HAVE to get EWCM to O or to conceive, but it helps.